


Echoes

by Virtual_Reality



Series: Steve and Bucky through the years [25]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Again, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Best Friends, Bucky Barnes Feels, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Avengers, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, Love, M/M, Memories, Moving, Passion, Passionate Steve, Possessive Steve, Protective Steve, Someone help, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers Feels, Therapy, They're so in love it hurts, omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4766783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Virtual_Reality/pseuds/Virtual_Reality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of a series</p>
            </blockquote>





	Echoes

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this chapter tucked away for an embarrassingly long time... Read it 'till I hated it sort of thing...  
> Already working on the next chapter so let's hope I can stay positive enough about this to get it up!
> 
> Also, I don't live in New York, and I've been reliably informed that my story needs a lot of (geographical) love. For now, I'm working with what i've got, and I'm going to give it a good hard edit once it's finished (and I can read it without feeling a deep sense of regret.) Depression sucks.

Steve spends most nights in Manhattan over the next few weeks, putting forth an honest effort to help Bucky balance out while he searched for an apartment.

He's had this ongoing discussion with Tony over the issue of moving into the tower. It's clearly the best option right now, and he knows that, but he's stubborn. He knows it's what Bucky wants - in his eyes, it's already home to him. It had been since the two months they'd lived there before, It was a place where he fit. Where he could live and feel safe, and that's everything Steve wants for him, but not quite how he wanted to give it to him.

"It's not a big deal," Stark had been insisting, for three weeks now, but Steve is stubborn, "It's technically the Avengers' tower anyway - I don't even live there. Hell, nobody lives there. Kind of lost its homey feel when aliens destroyed it that one time. Anyway, feel free to crash there as long as you need to. 'Place is yours."

Steve dreads the feeling of being indebted to someone, mostly since Tony won't let them pay rent on the space, and especially since he knows he can never pay him back for this, but now, with Bucky standing cautiously on Stark's side of the argument, he knows, at least for now, he has to give in.

So now, albeit reluctantly, Steve works to fill his spare time with packing - seemingly endless packing - and the ever present evidence of the whole shebang: generic cardboard boxes, packing peanuts that seem to multiply, the 'if Steve finds another dusting of shredded packing foam snow anywhere he's going to strangle Bucky' frustration... It goes on and on. Their apartment is already starting to feel less and less like home with each emptied shelf, and in contrast, Stark tower is beginning to look friendlier, warmer, more familiar. More like home - even with the boxes Steve kept stacked in the living room - because this is temporary - he insists on it whenever Bucky brings it up.

Staying here is worth it in the long run. Because as much as Bucky has recovered, he doesn't take care of himself like he should, he still skips meals, and pulls muscles in fits of careless, rage-induced training, and endures long, haunted sleepless nights happening far too often for comfort. Bucky insists Steve is overreacting about him - he's fine! And at times, Steve can almost believe him. But he's always been a very talented liar, and Steve knows the stress is hard on him, and even with Steve doing all he can. He knows it's hell, he's been there.

It's been years for Steve, years of recovery, though they were littered with new trials to recover from, but he still has nights when he can't sleep, when his brain won't turn off. When the energy flows, making him restless to the point he feels he'll go insane if he doesn't move. He's had some of those nights recently, lying awake at Bucky's side, worrying, stroking his hair, watching closely for any sign of distress. It's unnecessary, and obsessive, and he knows that, but when the worry seizes him, he just can't relax.

He'd talked to Doctor Banner about these things, Bucky's symptoms and mannerisms, hoping that if he just knew what was wrong, they could fix it. That the healing process could begin again, but after only five minutes of listening, Bruce interrupts him, talking calmly about the post traumatic stress symptoms in both of them, and for James, from the nightmares to the low body temperature. It all narrowed down to PTSD, stress and insomnia. That was it. No hydra drugs, no serum, no brainwashing, nothing inhuman or unheard of. It was simple, and common, and somehow that made it infinitely more difficult.

Bruce recommended both of them seeing their respective therapists, and Steve brought the idea before an extremely reluctant Bucky, who agreed to attend sessions only when Steve did, so neither of them had an excuse. Steve ignores his own feelings of reluctance, it's not exactly a secret he's been less than completely honest with his therapist, anyone who wore SHIELD's logo had access to his files, and he knows better. It's not that easy. None of it was.

Together, they fall into a lifestyle they can't exactly call routine. There's nothing routine about Steve's schedule, but Bucky's is planned out nearly to the minute, consistent and unsurprising. (Steve thinks it's better this way. Keeping things interesting for him without making them complicated for Bucky.) And together, they keep each other accountable with attending their regular, mutually dreaded, therapy sessions that - again - are disappointingly helpful.

In time, he finds it's actually very nice to be able to stay here, and when he really thinks about it, he's always known they wouldn't stay in his little apartment long. They need a place more private, more secure, and moving to a large city does't seem like the answer, but it's the closest they've found. He does end up liking it, one-hundred-percent against his will, but it's so comforting to care for Bucky again. Do the stupid little around the house Bucky's neglected for any number of reasons: laundry, dishes, cooking, just whatever. It feels odd, it feels domestic. It feels exactly like the life Steve had imagined for them before he'd gotten the serum. Bucky going off to work while he stays home and tends to the house, spending the evenings together like an honest to god couple. But It doesn't quite feel right.

Maybe Bucky's always been right about him being drawn to trouble because he finds the monotony to be a bit numbing. And maybe there was a time when a simple life would've suited them, but Steve can hardly find a dull moment in all their history together when it would have... The truth is, they've always lingered, at the very least, on the verge of trouble. They usually resided knee deep in it, sometimes more, but that's how Steve liked it. It kept things interesting, never being the ones to play it safe. It kept things heated - passionate - and he doesn't ever want to lose that troublemaking spark they share.

Most of all, Steve doesn't ever want to lose the feeling that it's still a little bit naughty for him to kiss Bucky. He doesn't want to lose the fireworks in his stomach from the very first time their lips met. The faltering of his unsteady heart, the rush of warm blood to his face. The adrenaline, the fear, the sudden return of the rapid beating of his heart echoing the sharp staccato of his breathing. And this remembered feeling: being waist deep in cold water, Bucky's arms around him, keeping him close, lips pressing kiss after desperate kiss to his upturned panting lips until his skin was flushed and rosy - all because he couldn't help himself. Because just being near Steve had set a flame in Bucky he couldn't ignore, and Steve had nursed that flame back to life from cold ashes, reminding him of the passion that once drove them together - teaching him the symphony of emotion, tender and heartbreaking, that choreographed the muscle memory set bone deep in them. The feeling that once again resonates in silent echoes, shadowing what may again be love. Steve was determined that nothing could stop him from keeping that fire ablaze. Because at the end of it all, he doesn't ever want to feel like loving Bucky was anything less than the greatest thing he's ever experienced. The most important mission he's ever accepted. Bucky has always been his everything. They'd always had each other, even if that was all they had, and the day Steve stops fanning that flame is the day he has nothing left to give. The day they reach the end of the line.

"Tuesdays are Miss Potts' date nights," Bucky whispers, unable to keeps the hint of exhaustion out of his voice that evening after supper. "I finished the telephone confirmations for her and locked up. S'why I'm so late - sorry."

"Hmm," Steve sighs, fingers carding through his hair, gradually loosening it from where the dab of product he used held it in place. "If I really search myself, I could probably find it in me to forgive you."

"You're hilarious." He's still fumbling around with a computer bag, and he pulls out a few magazines he tossed onto the coffee table before he finds the notebook he's looking for. "Sometimes I swear I'm more like Miss Potts' assistant than her bodyguard." He exhales a quiet laugh, "Lord only knows how bad she needs one." He sighs, scratching down a note in his planner, and stuffing it back in his bag.

"I'm sure you're helping her a lot." Steve whispers, "I think it's doing you both some good."

James' metal fingers twine with Steve's, and he frowns thoughtfully, "I hope so."

Steve holds him tighter, nosing along his jaw, pressing his forehead to the side of Bucky's neck. "You are, and I'm proud of you."

Bucky smiles, just a little, and lifts their twined hands so he can press a kiss to Steve's fingers.

"How was therapy?" Steve asks, smiling to himself.

Bucky leans back against his chest, snuggling down until his head was tucked comfortably in the crook of his shoulder, "How does sleeping on the couch sound?"

"Fair enough, don't tell me." Steve says, resigning, "Just making conversation."

"Thanks," Bucky says, giving a long, quiet sigh, "Tony's in town this week," he starts, seeming a bit unsure, "He wants to round us all up for drinks on Friday."

"Sounds like fun," Steve murmurs, pressing a soft kiss in his hair.

"I don't know about that." Bucky sighs, "I'm usually too tired for anything by Friday night."

"You should go, though." Steve says, "You'd love it. I know you would."

Bucky smiles to himself, resting his cheek on Steve's shoulder. "Only if you go, too." He whispers, which has become his most recent one-size-fits-all response to all things social. "Join us."

Steve smiles, "If you want me to, but I'm not much company at bars." He props his feet on the coffee table, "You of all people should know that."

"Yeah." James hums, "I'll take what I can get." then he pauses, bites his lips until he's sure he won't laugh, and nuzzles into Steve's neck, "But I ain't letting you out of my sight."

Steve chuckles softly against his hair, and the tickle of his breath made Bucky want to shiver.

"Steve Rogers in a bar..." James hums, "You'll have some poor fella in a back alley if I ain't got my eye on you."

"You kidding me?" Steve gives his hand a gentle squeeze, "You'll be far too tangled up in skirt t' notice. I could get away with murder."

Bucky sighs, and Steve kisses his temple, hand rubbing over Bucky's bicep as they press closer on the couch. Bucky twists, legs tucking underneath him so he can nestle his face in Steve's hair. He sighs again, and Steve's smile is curious, "You'll be back by then, won't you? From DC?"

Steve's expression turns fond, "Promise," he drops a soft kiss in Bucky's hair, "anxiously waiting for you in the shower when you get off work."

Bucky hides his smile, and pulls himself into Steve's lap to tug on his belt, "You're perfect."

"M'not perfect."

"Perfect." Bucky murmurs against his jawbone, and then something in Russian rumbles in his throat, because he knows Steve can't disagree if he can't understand, and Bucky never fights fair. His nose skims along Steve's throat, lips along his neck, teeth at his ear, and he whispers softly, his voice a low, hard hitting register that sends chills down Steve's spine, though he can't understand a word of it.

Bucky pauses, pulls back, eyes lowering to a flutter of lashes, lips curling into that beautiful pout that's had Steve falling for him since they were kids, "Bedroom?" He offers, accent lingering on his lips, which slip into a lazy smirk.

"Sure," Steve breathes, Ignoring the flutter in his chest, and the heat in his gut.

Bucky leans in and kisses him, teasingly chaste, on the lips, and stands, walking towards the bedroom, sparing a single glance over his shoulder that makes Steve's heart soar. "Don't keep me waiting." He calls back to him.

"I wouldn't dare." Steve replied .

Bucky blew him a kiss, and disappears from sight.

The living room is a mess. Clothes and dishes scattered, but Steve ignores it all, turning the lamp off, and walking, heart fluttering with anticipation, into the dimly lit bedroom.

Bucky should not still affect him this much, but Steve wouldn't give it up for anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read, I'll try to update soon.
> 
>  
> 
> Bucky Barnes is ruining my life.  
> I will go down with this ship.


End file.
